Tuesday Lifelines

This is the written version of an email I got from a friend about kitchen tips. Basically, there is Martha Stewart giving real tips, and then some cartoonish woman who looks like a Madge to me dishing out the truth about them.

Tip 1:

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Just suck the icecream out of the bottom of the cone, for God’s sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

Tip 2:

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Go to the bakery! Hell, they’ll even decorate it for you!

Tip 3:

Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Celery? What the hell is celery?!

Tip 4:

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Bull! Go ask the neighbour with the washboard abs to open it for you… shirtless!

Tip 5:

Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Leftover Wine, Martha?????? HELLO!!!!!!

And my favourite, Tip 6:

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
IF the lime is from your third margarita!

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